


Hate Mail & Self Love

by Ghostwifeofficial



Series: BTS Fanfiction for Black girls [1]
Category: Original Work, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Self-Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwifeofficial/pseuds/Ghostwifeofficial
Summary: A very short story about hate being sent to Jungkook's black gf.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Original Female Character(s)
Series: BTS Fanfiction for Black girls [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840666
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Hate Mail & Self Love

**Author's Note:**

> Since I'm the author, I wanted to do a fanfic aimed at girls that look at me. I know this isn't something that is talked about in the black community or rather it's something that is seen as negative but I wanted to bring attention to it and say that we're fucking beautiful okay!?!?!? Anyone who says differently is an idiot and they don't deserve a second of your time

*Ding* 

*Ding*

*Ding*

It's been happening ever since we got together...actually, it's been happening since the rumors started. The constant hate and racist comments are starting to get to me. "I can't believe he chose you over everyone else, you're not even that pretty.", "You're so dark I can't even see you.", "Just kill yourself." Stuff like that, I get it every day constantly, it's a never-ending roller coaster of hatred. It's crazy that I used to call these people my fandom. 

Normally, I'd be able to walk it off because I know it comes from a place of hatred and hatred isn't something I like to give my time too but because it's affecting me, it's also affecting Jungkook and by default, the group. I see how stressed they all are because they're worried about my mental health. I get where they're coming from, Idols are used to getting hate from people all the time and they either learn to block it out or use it as motivation. Me? I'm not an idol, I'm not used to being in the spotlight and frankly...sometimes I wished I wasn't.

Lately, it's been slowing down but whenever dispatch manages to catch a picture of me...the hate starts again. Part of me is annoyed but another part of me wonders why they hate me. Is it because they're jealous or is it because they're actually that racist? If it was the former, I could deal but if it's the latter...how does one deal with that? Another thing I noticed is that if it wasn't hate, it was fanfics that depicted me as some enigma like I caught his attention despite my skin color or because of my skin color...as if my skin color is a determining factor. It was always, "her coffee-colored skin" or "her chocolate skin." I mean, I'm not food and the last time I checked, I'm a human being. So why do they always feel the need to compare my skin to food as if there's nothing else? Compare me to Autumn leaves or Sunset Afterglow or the Harvest Moon Night. I will literally take anything other than food.

Anyways, to get back on track, I was at home waiting for Jungkook to come home from practice so we could video chat. I was in the bathroom, washing my face after my shower. I lifted my head to look in the mirror after rinsing my face and I just stared at my reflection. Do you know what I saw staring back at me? I saw my hair, curly as can be, curls everywhere, tight and coiled with water still dripping off the ends onto my shoulders. I saw my dark brown eyes, so dark they are almost black. I saw my lips, the kind you see Instagram influencers with after fillers but I knew that as I reached my finger up to touch them, they were real. Finally, I saw my skin. My skin with my acne marks that I've spent years trying to come to terms with. I once saw them as the bane of my existence but now? It looked like my skin was carved from smoky quartz, infused with all its dark spots and healing qualities. I stared at my dark melanated skin, with all its flaws, and realized something. 

At that moment, I thought I was the prettiest girl I ever saw and not in the conceited "Omg I'm better than other girls" way but in the "Omg you are so pretty and I love you" way. Self-love isn't something I was practiced in. I had good days and I had bad days but I knew I shouldn't let what is said on the internet behind a screen dictate whether my day was good or bad. I was shaken out of my trance by the sound of my laptop dinging. Taking one last look in the mirror, I made my way out of the bathroom and into the living room. Opening up my laptop, I was greeted with the sight of Jungkook and the rest of the boys in the background. 

"Hey, guys!!" I said with a smile on my face as I waved at them. "How was practice?" I asked

They nodded their heads to indicate it went fine, "How are you Y/N?" Jungkook asked me, concern laced into his voice. I only smiled, "I'm okay," I said as I ran my hands through my hair, one of my fingers getting caught on a curl. "What about you?" I knew they didn't believe me and in part, they were right too but looking at the grande scheme of things, I know that in time I would be. The opinions of the few didn't outweigh my opinion of myself or how Jungkook viewed me in his eyes not that I need his validation but it's still nice to have ya know? 

"I'm okay, I'm worried about you," he said and again I only smiled. "Don't be...I mean I love that you worry about me but I'm going to be okay." My hand was still in my hair, working out the rest of the knots. Maybe I should get a different shampoo and conditioner, a detangling one, I thought as I looked at the screen. I could see that Jungkook still had a look of concern on his face so I sighed and took my hand out of my hair. "Listen, all of you," I said in order to get the attention of the members that had moved away from the camera. "It sucks, I am not going to lie about that but that doesn't mean that it's going to destroy me. I know that there are people who aren't going to like me for various reasons and it's never going to be easy living with the knowledge that there are people who hate your existence for reasons they made to make sense in their heads." I smiled again and reached back into my hair, "The only thing that matters is that I know my worth, I know Jungkook wouldn't be with me if he didn't love me and I know you all care for me. I also know that there are fans who support our relationship. I don't think there's anything else that matters." 

I saw Namjoon and Jin smile while Jimin, Jhope, and Taehyung laughed and Yoongi, well he just smirked and shrugged as if he knew that all along. *He did and he said it several times before* Jungkook only smiled at me, a small smile that told me while this didn't solve everything, it was a step forward and sometimes a step forward is all you need.

For the rest of the night, before I went to bed, I spoke to Jungkook and the boys about how they felt and we came to a conclusion. Albeit, it was one that Yoongi proposed from the beginning but I digress. Our conclusion was...Ahem... If you have a problem with one of the boys dating a Black girl...you can go fuck yourself. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was harder to write than I thought. I was trying to go for something that didn't make Y/N out to be a victim or completely helpless and I wanted her to come to the conclusion that she is perfect without Jungkook. I read a lot of stories where the black girl needs validation in order to see that she's beautiful and that is just something that I didn't agree with ya know? Anyways, I'm sorry it's so short, as I said before, I couldn't come up with a decent enough plot and my brain is fried.


End file.
